At night as I fell asleep and my mind reviewed the day's activities, I could hear the echo of my own voice repeating various forms of "no" what seemed like all day long.

Do NOT poke him in the ear!

No you may not jump of the back of the couch.

The baby does NOT want you to bounce on his tummy like that.

No you may not have fishy crackers for breakfast.

Stop digging up the potted plant in the living room.

Turn OFF the sound on that toy.

We do NOT spit at people.

At four, three and one years old my kids were each in their own stages of soaking up life: exploring what was possible, experimenting, pushing boundaries, figuring out how things work. One thing that surprised me about myself as a parent was just how often I said no, how many situations required limit setting or redirecting their behavior. In the very few moments before I fell asleep at night, I would consider different ways I could invite "yes" into my conversation in place of no. It seemed impossible at first, but little by little I found ways to reframe my own response.

Yes, you can spit. Please go do it in the backyard.

You sure do love to jump! Let's pile some blankets up and move the furniture so it's safe when you land.

Are you trying to get the baby's attention? He loves peek-a-boo. Let me show you.

You get the point. At first it was one more way I felt exhausted, this constant reframing of no in to yes. But I enjoyed the company of these new words more than my old phrases. When I felt the "no" rise inside, I'd carefully consider why and if it was necessary before I actually said it. I then realized I wanted my no to mean something, so it was wise to consider its overuse. Sometimes the answer is yes and we need to find some time on the calendar. Other times the answer is yes, let's research what it would take for you to get there. Of course the answer might be, I don't know - let's find out. And there is always, I love your ideas! Tell me more. Giving a little time to sort through why I was considering no.

As our family has grown, this reframing has turned into a yes-mindset that shines the light on paths we would not have otherwise glanced twice at, provided many opportunities to make mistakes, and opened doors to big adventures. Yes, is now part of our family code.

A night hike = Yes!

Firecrackers = Yes!

Mom + Me date = Yes!

Philly Cheesteaks in Philly = Yes!

Meeting the author - Yes!

Disassembling discarded appliance on the street corner = Yes!

Changing your mind = Yes!

Saying no = Yes!

One of the lovelies (my nickname for the tribe of best friends who surround us)

gave me my own yes sign

which now hangs so I see it every time I leave the house. I nod to "yes" on my way to work each morning or as I leave on a run. "Yes" greets me when I come home.

I've my own painted version of the yes sign to hang on fences.

Here is one on Coney Island

. I love this stencil works just right on a little scrap of wood.

The "yes!" version of the love note series was born during a a live love note writing session in December 2012 at San Francisco Center for the Book. Read the details here:

loving you takes guts

. In response to a gentleman's request (I'm going to take a note and ask her to coffee but you really need one of these notes that says, "yes."), I created this "yes!" note

.

On my best days, I'm like e.e. cummings,

I imagine that yes is the only living thing.

The yes! love note is a reminder, a prayer, an answer, a hope, a clarion call.

story behind the heART: yes