Proof of love #45

There is no love; only proofs of love.

— Pierre Reverdy.

As we transitioned to close the live services at PleasePrEPMe (details below more for my own reference and mapping of this transition in life), the team TOTALLY surprised me. I opened my back door to find the supplies for an epic pool party (a fantasy staff retreat/marketing opportunity we loved to riff on). I was blown away by the creativity and thoughtfulness of each item. Yikes, I could not stop smiling. So distracted by the pool party fun, the team via Zoom had to tell me "Look downstairs on your fence."On the fence were all these love notes they had gathered from colleagues and friends. So many memories, connections, and love. I keep these notes near me and read them often. Reminders of what was, what is, and what will be. Epic proofs of love.

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At the end of June, we closed PleasePrEPMe's chat and live navigation services in response to shifts in funding.

Looking back: PleasePrEPMe began five years ago as the first searchable and location responsive PrEP provider directory in English and Spanish, literally putting California on the map. PleasePrEPMe was born as a partnership between existing local provider lists and partnerships have been the story of PleasePrEPMe’s thriving. Thank you! We have loved being a part of leveraging technology to create connection, being a bridge between online information seekers and online or in-person services.

Marching forward: Even as we celebrate progress in the PrEP implementation landscape, the righteous revolution that is underway calls us to center Black lives and leadership, decolonize the oppressive systems that shape inequitable outcomes, and co-create new ways of being in community and providing services that advance access for all. After June 30, our team hopes our individual paths cross soon with you — full of love and with a fist raised in the air.

We are grateful for the years of working with you to advance access to HIV prevention services in California.

Mary Oliver wrote, "Attention is the beginning of devotion." I bought the domain name "PleasePrEPMe" in 2013 - after a night where I could not sleep for imagining a place where people could freely access HIV prevention information. Being a part of PleasePrEPMe has changed me, shaped me, stretched, and grown me— the attention and devotion becoming a way of life.

Beyond the novel services, PleasePrEPMe was also an experiment in creating a new type of work environment: we were a distributed team from day 1, we value bringing our whole selves to work, we created agile and adaptive workflows. PleasePrEPMe is an immensely creative, generative, loving, and present team I will deeply miss working with.

As I texted about this transition with a friend, I typed "heartbroken" to describe how I felt.....autocorrect provided "heartmapping" as an alternative. I'll take it. That sounds like a new adventure.